the #1 way to solve conflicts in the workplace
Through all the global ups and downs, it seems like a great time to explain what it means to have your emotional intelligence function defined or undefined. 53% of the population is emotionally defined, and most don’t know it or how to harness this function for positive outcomes.
If you're emotionally defined then it is your decision making authority. An emotionally defined person sets the tone in partnerships and in groups depending on their mood. It’s the first place I look when evaluating teams and partners.
Not understanding the nature of the emotional system, is where the majority of misunderstandings come from.
The way the emotions work is that your body is going through a biochemical process similar to ocean waves, from high highs to low lows. One moment everything is fine and the next you’re enraged. That's how quickly the emotions can rise up then crash.
The motto for an Emotional Authority is, "there is no truth in the now." As an emotional being myself, this motto means I don't know why I'm in a low mood one minute and happy the next. I don't put mental reasoning on it nor can I fix it. All I know is not to make decisions from the high point or the low. I need time to process my feelings on my own without external influences to come to my point of clarity.
Spontaneous reactions or decision-making is the worst action an emotional authority can take for their overall well-being and everyone around them. They cannot make a healthy decision unless they sleep on it for a day or longer depending on the decision. Time brings you clarity and a renewed perspective. The goal is to wait to feel little to nervousness in the body before taking action or confronting someone.
Then we have 47% of the population, that's emotionally undefined, meaning they're empathic and highly sensitive to the emotions of others. Their natural state is cool, calm and collected. They can sense when tensions are high or low. Depending on their environment they may feel better or worse than the people around them. Based on this, they can assess whether someone is emotionally healthy for them or not.
I always advise them not to ask someone that’s emotionally defined, “what’s the matter?” or “why they're in a bad mood?” It's best to leave them alone, allow the emotions to pass on its own or else things can get heated quickly!
The reason I say this is because emotions are always in motion—and best not to force or amplify the issue since they can't control the nature of the “wave.” Both parties can simply be aware of it and know that it takes some people longer to process everything that's happening.
It's important to note that nothing is wrong if you’re emotionally defined. You just need to learn how it works and how to release your emotions in a healthy way (ex: cry, be alone with your creative muse, listen to music, scream in a pillow or get a punching bag!)--you'll start to feel better after the build up of emotions is released.
If you're emotionally undefined, it's best to have some time alone at the end of the day to release all the emotions that you've picked up. This can be in the form of a walk, bath, laying down in your bed or anything else that you enjoy.
Knowing this piece about yourself will keep you healthy and save you and yours a lot of unnecessary drama or fights.
When we honor and respect each others timing of self-expression, the result is peaceful communication versus chaos and confusion.
If you’re looking to make a long-lasting impact in the world, start by understanding yourself first and then you can clearly and effectively get your message across to others in a positive way.
xo,
Shaadi